Second story i wrote. Ignore the typos...still.


The Ultament Apple Pie Series

The cool winter coinditions were nothing compared to the horrible rash that the penguins on the penguin leader's quest to get the ultimate apple pie. Where are all the et me tell you the story. It was a cold an snowy day in antarctica (what do you expect a warm grassy field)when they set off, they left in there tiny boat (A norwegian air craft carrier) and there small force (10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 penguins) with little food (all that you can eat). In thease harsh conditions it is amaising that all the penguins (now considerably fatter) landed in south america and after many years of fighting (5 minutes) they finnaly took south america and continued north to the source of the Lultiment pie. all of a sudden in an ambush an army of ants lead by the famous Sir. Sachatchewan (see metalic food series) attacked fatelly wouning the penguin leader (a small scrach). his last words were "give me a...a...piece of pizza" then he said...wait werent those his last words...oh well...well anyways, he then said "i need alot of medical surgery, tell Bob that he is the new penguin leader" (DUN DUN DUN) So bob lead the penguin army north on their ship until it sunk (the penguins really were fat now) and they were forced to waddle to shore (which took a REALLY REALLY long time) (ok seriously it was REALLY long) (REALLY LONG!). so in about 45346245643523 CENTURIES they waddled into new york and knocked down a few buildings (they WERE fat(not to be racist)) then continued north. As they were crossing through canada they were suddenly attacked by (guess, i dare you) CANADIANS..no wait thats a typo what i ment to say was...RUSSIANS ( i dont really know what russians were doing in canada ok!) and lost most of their troops (they all eventualy became rich and famous but thats another story. Anyways as they continued north they finnaly reached the artic circle and the pie only to see that (dun dun dun)talking trees and ants got there first and had already taken the pie (which eventualy lead to world war tree but once agaon, another story.). so the trees went south and and the ants (yes, their back) (ok ok ill give an explanation to why Sir. Schactewan is still alive after THE BRONZE PATATO SALAD later, ok) prusued. Then the penguins followed on their luxery jet liner in close prusuit.What will happen next? Where are all the other animals? WHAT IS 2+2? All questions awnsered in the second part of THE ULTAMENT APPLE PIE.





"hello Mr. Priesedent how are you joining us on Fox 3 morning news". "Good thank you". The disscussion went on for half an hour until all of a sudden there was a low hum. a jet crashed into the building and out came penguins. Were takin over this build..." said bbob right before some randome backround character came and pushed him out the window. now said the genral "we need another leader" so then the new leader fHEBLASHAGAN told them that they should stop wasting time and get back to...hay is that a game show! (game show music) WELCOME TO KEEL OF FORTUNE today it is the TALING TREES vs. THE ANTS. IT looks like we have some guest (a penguin falls on the spokes person) (penguin): it is the ants vs. the trees. vs. the penguins for the ultament apple pie. now our first question is (nuclear bomb destories the entire world)(...)(ok, lets go back in time and pretend they didnt die) (REVERSES) Now our first question is (dun dun dun) what. Is. Two. Plus. Two! (DUN DUN DUN) PEnguins are up first. PEnguins:uhhhhhhh...potatos. Spokes person: WRONG Ants: uhhh...patatos? Spokesperson:....ya i dont think so Trees: i know this one i know it! is it...patatos? Sokesperson: OK YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS I QUIT AND IM TAKING THIS ULTAMENT APPLE PIE WITH ME. All: GET HIM!. So then out of nowhere the trees took the the pie and all the other animals (yes there all back) attacked them. After many hard years if fughting (5 seconds give or take). The city was wartorn and the pie missing. THen all of a sudden they saw RUSSIANs taking it away (go figure) TO BE CONTINUED...












...immediatly As all thw other animals prusued the russians an odd thing started to happen. what happened? well im not telling YOU. so anyways they were chasing the russians all of a sudden the sun exploded. idk why but... SO as they were running they fell in a volcano and went to the core of the earth and all of a sudden...nothing happened. What will happen next? why did i cut off at sich an odd moment? why am i asking YOU all thease questions? all questions awndered (or not) in the final part of the ULTAMENT PIE SERIES.


Part 1
So as they werefalling all of a sudden they wnded back up on the top of the earth. Then they saw a cyclops taking away the pie (the russians dropped it when they fell in the volcano, what a surprise.) so everyone (except the sloths) started chasing it. then the cyclops tripped he dropped the oie (created an earthquake, and leveled Los Angelas) and the penguins took it again. Thpenguin leader was running with it when all of a sudden he was leathely hit by a...DUN DUN DUN...potato. His last words were "uss the fork luke...(dies). All: any lukes here? then a nuclear bomb came and...(narrator gets attacked by penguins). Penguin leader:all right, heres the story how i want it! Ant leader: "no I say the end of the sto(SPLAT). Ants: NOO!! SIR. SCATEWAN. I DECLARE WAR!. So as the randome fighting ( stop hitting your self, Ahh my thorax!) continued no one saw the EVIL CANADIAN MENACE taking it away to Russia (where else would CANADIANS live except russia). so after many hours of fighting and way to many bad puns (cow: prepeare for your UTTER defeat) the penguins finnaly noticed the pie was gone and went to search the Pacifin Ocean for the canadians. Once they finnaly realised that the pie wasnt there (and that they did not have gills) (what was left of) the penguins porceded to russia.to be cont...penguin : oh no you dont!Narrator: yes im tired of typingpenguin:soTony: HI EVERYONE!Narrator: Hey all of you get out!Penguin: NO WAY!V THIS ENDS HERE!!! FOR ME, FOR THE PENGUINS, AND FOR THE ULTAMENT APPLE PIE!"ah ha! we will finnaly feast apun this scrumptious apple pie" said the canadians.* pengguins burst in all equiped with fully loaded bananas*. "AH! BANANNAS OUR ONLY WEAKNESS!". *the canadians get out their rubber chickens*. Penguins and canadians: ITs ON!. Immediatly the penguins fired their banannas taking down many canadians but then the canadians fired their rubber chickens but missed (stupid canadians and their bad eyesight). But unfortunatly the canadians had a secret weapon (but they lost it).then all of a sudden a potato(you will here the wort potato sevral times before this story is over...LIVE WITH IT!), and before i go oni only have sevral things to say: potato potato potato potato potato potato. ok now on with the story.\ (in part two that is)


Book 3, Part 2
Finnaly after many months of procrastinatung THE CONCLUSION TO THE ULTAMENT APPLE PIE SERIES IS HERE. (random cheering). ok heree we go... All of a sudden a potato came crashing through tihe window and...nothing happened. So as the penguins and canadians were fighting THE POTATO EXPLODED! so then after a heafty meal, a tea party, and the second coming, the battle raged on. THE END


Penguin: NO WAY!
Penguin 2: very anti-climatic
Penguin 3: BOOOOOOOOOOORING!
Penguin 4/Russian: IZ BE REZZUAN!
Narrator: well i got bordd
Tony: TO BAD IM TAKIN OVER NOW AND I ONLY HAVE ONE THING TO SAY! PORTAL COMBAT!!!!!
All of a sudden a portal burst out of a vortex out of a double helix out of a potato out of chuck noris! They were all sucked in (except for the apple pie) except one penguin. The benguin grabbed (and ate) the apple pie. But before he ate it he got hit by a POTATO (people over towers and toungs obo's). Then POTATO STOLE the applepie and fell into a pit . Then a giant came and Ate Potato. THen the apple piee fell onto a truck and was carried to chinA. Where it was put in a shack. Then the canadians burst in to see the penguins getting ready to eat the pie. What will happen next. Look for the next instalment. COMMING SOON
To be continued in: The Ultament Banana Pie
To Be Concluded in: The Ultament Apple Pie 3: Mass armies and other pie related things