My most recent story. Less typos.







The Ultament Banana Pie!
(second in the ultament apple pie series)
It was a cold and snowy day...in canada. Which is not where this story takes place (yet). Anyways....It was a hot and sunny day in China. The driver of the U-haul van was tired of driving the banana pie to canada (told ya). So he stopped...And was about to eat the (ultament) banana pie when....(Pauses to get food).....Ahh there. So anyhow He was suddenlly attacked by ants. So he steppen on them...and they died (sadly). So anyhow he got back to driving when suudeendky an alien spaceshiip crashed into the truck and nocket it into o vokcani (that ship will be back later). But right when the truck was about to perish...the driver saw a ligght. It was Santa and his reindeer! Unfortunatly rudophh fell asleep and they all fell into the volcano (ang got eaten by canadians). Wait...since when is there a volcano in china. Ot U-haul. Wouldnt it be called like DFgdfghdffdsfdhEWRHTrdfGFtrgcgdresdgf-Haul or somthing (considering how short chineese words are). So anyhow suddenly darth vader cane and stole the pie from the truck (destory us all). And he flew away in his Sissy Tree hugger. Later he found out that was a terrible mistake (that i dont feel like writing about).So anyways The Sissy Tree Hugger (as opposed to the imperial star destoryer that got eaten by a giant that got eaten by a moth that got eaten by bacteria) was very pooorly built and exploded within 5 seconds (un) furtunatly the pie was not harmed. It merly landed on a rock in the middle of a lava lake full of ant, monkey, tree, tomato, alien, canadain, u-haul driver (or as i like to say DFgdfghdffdsfdhEWRHTrdfGFtrgcgdresdgf-Haul driver), and generally anything, eating perranahs. Cant be that bad right? So anyways, The ants, trees, and all those other people/animals i just listed ran into an old wooden boat (aircraft carrier that the penguins were on) and it sunk. but they were all floating. /and then it started snowing (in the middle of summer). ME: JESUS POWERS FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. then I got distracted by a flower and crashed into a plane (which was later crashed into a canadian taco stand (gts cori). So ignoring the randomness of it thev got onto the rock (perranahs are alergic to snow, they explode if their near it). So everyone got second degree burns and had to go to the hospital. Except for the trees. they just burned. A few penguins managed to survive with ants riding them. So the penguins and the ants lunged for the pie...only to grap my jesus robes. So i was all like " OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG STOP VIOLATING MY PERSONAL SPACE OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! So then i flew into the mountain and it started snowing again..and the pie froze to my leg. So as i flew away the penguins finnaly fufilled their destiny and finnaly took flight...only to fall down three feet later. Then suddenly. THE END...
Of part one...of book two in THE ULTAMENT APPLE PIE. Fan comments are appreciated. So are tips and bribes. Tip your waitresses!



PART 2
(you know, the part after part 1)
So as i was saying before. And suddenly Frodo Baggins came riding on a dragon to save them. With masterfull skill he susceeded in rescuing them and the ultament banana pie. And they all lived happily ever after. Wow. Did you auctually belive that. YOu must not know no at all if you did. Wow. Ok. so anyways, As he came flying in to save him a giant tree came and ate frodo, It lunged for the pie but the girly slaps of the penguin drove it mad and it steppen on the grinches snowflake (and so ends another tale). And so they all died. The end. Ok, fine, ill stop.As it plunged into the water darth vader fired the death Car which he had bought at half price.It missed and evaporated the lake plunging the penguins, the ants, and a potato to the CENTER OF THE EARTH. so they fell...and fell...and fell..and fell..until they hit china. They ordered chineese carryout and then started the long climb up. When they got to the top it was snowing (JESUS POWERS). Then they realised that brendon was stealing the pie! So using their magical flying powers the penguins and the ants flew (ran) after him. As he ran to california to meet the band he tripped over a rock on cori's lawn in michigan. So the ants finnaly caught up (the penguins got hungery) and tried to steal the apple pie. Then cori (just had to) ran outside and tried to hug brendon, but just had to trip over the pie. Then the ants went running after it. a few minutes later it started snowing. I flew by chasing everyone but crashed into coris house. Or maybe it was a mountain. either way. So as the pie went flying Frodo came in flying on his dragon and took brendon away again. He pushed Frodo off and he fell into a pit full of grinches. So Brendon, The ants, Tony, cori (was following brendon), and of course Santa (youde better watch out) Were chasing the pie to its landing point....IN CANDAD! Little did they know someone was watching. waiting. Getting ready to steal an apple pie...
Anyways as they all went to canada. The pengins were flying in a first class plane to russia to get an apple pie back. As they entered the shack where the fighting was taking place , they got hit by a rubber chicken. They attacked the candians but they were too powerfull. Well not really but, the penguins were lazy. But suddenly darth vader burst into the room flanked by a ton of sissytroopers Seening this large army the canadians and the penguins agreed to a truce and attacked the sissytroopers. Needless to say, they lost. patheticly. as a matter of fact they lost so badky that they won. So they got the apple pie (you can(t) win for loesing). but thenn it grew wings and flew to canada.
They all arrived at the same and a large fight took place. Brendon running away from the dragon. The dragon running away from Cori. Cori running twords brendon. The ants running away from peoples feet. Tony Making it snow. The penguins running to the pie. the pie running away from the penguins. Suddenly a bright light shone in the sky. Out of the darkness emerged a....
THE END (of part two)
Comments are appreciated. So are kind comments. Money is appreciated more. There is a possibility that patents are pending. A very good possibility.




Part 3
(also known as the last part of this installment)



Out of the darkness emerged the Ultament Apple pie! The pie landed and hit the Ultament banana pie. They both started floating down the river that appeared out of nowhere. All the Penguins got into their aircraft carriar and started heading downriver (until they hit a rock 5 seconds later and sunk). After a laugh attack the ants floated downriver in their old boat that was build out of lead. It floated light as a feather down the river. At least until the penguins got on it. Then it was as light as 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 feathers.Tony got into a "used" jet plane (see part 1) and it exploded in midair. Then i got my "heavenly" 420 and sailed down the river. Brendon ran onto the luxery cruise liner. Right when the dragon was about to get on Coru beat it up and threw it into the hole to china. Then she ran to brendon, who proceeded to jump off the boat and start swimming away as fast as he could. Everyone else who got back from the hospital all got on a 5 foot long rowboat which floated down the river smoothly. After the incredibly long (5 minute) journey thet all stoped at taco bell, ignoring the two pies that were right in front of them, and all ordered vegitarian tacos. When they got back they completly ignored the pies. They were to busy talking (haggling with) the manager because they had no money. Suddenly brendon burst out singing "The Only Diffrence". Suddenly The Manager (who just happened to be named John McJohn) yelled out " I HAVE A STRICT NO SINGING POLICY!!!!!!!!!!!!!" GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He attacked brendon suddenly and Cori went and attacked the manager. Rolling around on the ground y a cliff they were all attacking eachother while the animals (including me) just stared at the crazy "hooooooooooomansssss" fighting in the dirt like pigs. Suddenly the Famous Unstable cliff (199999 ft tall) broke and The manager, Brendon, and Cori all flew off the cliff. Tjey were never heard from again (at least in this story). So, still ignoring the pie they started sunbathing in the (as stated in the beginning) cold and snowy weather. Suddenlt out of nowhere a dark portal came and (dramatic tension) CHUCK NORRIS APPEARED!
(pokemon)
level TT chuck norris appeared
Tony: GO PIKACHU
Chuck norris uses "beat the crap out of pikachu"
Pickachu fainted!
Tony: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tony whited out!
(normal again)
Chcuk norris suddenly grabbed the pie and jumped into the portal. Done sunbathing, everyone followed. As they jumped into the portal...Nothing happened. THey just ended up on the other side. "Good thing i have portal insurance!" laughed chuck norris. Suddenly he started counting to infinity. Everyone was shocked, and awed. They were speechless at his amaisingness. While they were watching him suppenly somthing very strange happened. The pies were...
The End
Hah Hah. I pulled a fast one on you. IN YOUR FACE!!!! So anyhow Look for The final Instalment of the Ultament apple pie: Mass Armies amd other pie related things. Now for


Part 4
(Yes, i lied, there is a part 4 :P)
Merging together. In a large flash of light the entire area exploded in a flash of sound and light. The pies had fused together and created THE ULTMENT COMBINATION PIE!
The End
Look out for: The ultament Apple pie 3: Mass armies and other pie related things.